No. 6: An open letter to my son

 

My darling Levi,

Hi my son.

It’s been almost 8 weeks since you came into the world and became our biggest blessing.

In between all the visitors, Christmas, and an extremely draining week in hospital, the first four weeks of your life were a huge blur. I remember being so happy but also so incredibly overwhelmed. You were this tiny, beautiful being that had been placed into your father and I’s arms and although I might not have said it, every day I wondered whether we were making the right choices for you.

You are now almost on your 8th week of being earthside and I am falling in love with you more and more each day. Your smile, the faces you make and your big brown eyes.

The busyness has stopped, your Dad has gone back to work, visitors have left and most days, its just you and I. At first I tried so very hard to get everything done in the house whilst you slept. I tried to manage it all at once and also take on extra work, I tried but I burned out – fast.

So last night, before you fell asleep, as we said our nighttime prayers, I told you that this week we’d have a little bit more fun. We’d read more, go for walks, take more photos, play for a bit longer and dance more. Break out of the great but boring routine that we’re used to. Change. Feed. Burp. Sleep. Clean. (Every 3 hours x 6 times a day)

As I type this on my phone, you are lying on  my chest and we’re listening to Leon Bridges. So, today I’m going to cuddle you for a little bit longer. Today I will ignore the dishes in the sink for a bit longer. Today, the laundry can wait. Today, I will just hold you. Whilst you can still lie comfortably on my chest and want to be close to me. I will kiss your forehead a few more times, and brush your hair. Today, the rest of the world can wait.

Because you are growing more and more each day, and I kinda want you to stay this way… Just for a little bit longer.

I love you, always.

Mum xx

Ps. This is probably going to be the first of many letters that I will write for you.

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